The trip back

So it's been established that I'm an alien (today at this cosmetics store they offered to spray me with a new perfume called "Alien" - I rest my case). Then again we are all aliens - we are all different; we all come from different planets. It's just that some of us might get to feel more alien than the rest because our planets might be less well known or not known at all to the rest. And the truth is that in recent years I haven't been feeling as alien as before. Many other aliens have discovered the coordinates of my planet and they get to visit. I, in turn, know their whereabouts and I visit too. Besides, being an adventurer by nature, I don't mind exploring planets other than my own. Still, lately I've been finding it hard to abandon my premises for planets that I could not care less about - like the planets where my work colleagues reside for example. Especially when I've been spending time with friendly aliens away from work, I afterwards dread the landing back to those other planets. I get depressed even in the thought of the trip. And what's sad is that unfortunately once I land there, I kind of get to adapt. I kind of get to play by their rules and that pisses me off - it reminds me of the hell that Calvino was talking about. That hell that you cease to notice once you become part of it. It's only when I come up for air that I'm reminded that my planet lies elsewhere and that this hell is only temporary. It's just that how can you possibly remember that when you get to spend so much time in hell? When its residents visit you even in your dreams? How can you escape them?
I don't want to become part of that hell! I want to forever be able to discern what amidst the hell is not hell and to that give space!!

She

Yesterday, when She was asleep,
I sneaked out of my body and came to meet you.
You seemed so lost under that moonshine,
trying to find some shade beneath a tree.
But no trees were to be found,
so you sat sobbing on a rock and you waited.
Then I came,
and I fed you with my kisses
and I lulled you with my songs
and I let you dream in my arms,
until the break of dawn.

Now, you claim that you don’t recognize me,
That my countenance scares you like the night
And I can feel her breath,
Approaching.
My kisses are turning into vile.
My songs have lost their lyrics.
My arms are running out of heat.
And I must leave, my love, for you are in danger.
The sun is up and She is taking over.

Her soul is empty, her mind is wild,
and fear is lurking within her heart
Her eyes are weapons, her arms are chains
And poison is running in her veins.

Beware my love!

When the moon shall be full again,
I’ll search for you under the moonshine.
If I don’t find you waiting on a rock,
I’ll bring you flowers every night
and ask the moon to join me in my mournful song.

My love,
Forgive me.
Your death, I cannot avenge,
for She is I, and I love her.